i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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