I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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