my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize