I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
