Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
