If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
