True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize