Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
