The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
