she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
