i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
