dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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