this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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