Texts From Last Night

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  (940): View more from Texas

  That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone

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  (940): That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone http://tfl.nu/w4ug
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (1849)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after

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  (512): its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after http://tfl.nu/7p4f
  Replies (8) Good night (694) Bad night (5675)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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  (603): I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated http://tfl.nu/wizt
  Replies (8) Good night (2501) Bad night (962)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

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  (248): You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual. http://tfl.nu/weeh
  Replies (4) Good night (2666) Bad night (871)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.

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  (307): They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting. http://tfl.nu/gm65
  Replies (7) Good night (2827) Bad night (1293)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.

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  (563): I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join. http://tfl.nu/n2je
  Replies (4) Good night (1221) Bad night (480)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.

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  (407): While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead. http://tfl.nu/hup2
  Replies (3) Good night (1250) Bad night (622)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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  (724): i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager. http://tfl.nu/vpf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1613) Bad night (606)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.

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  (253): If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat. http://tfl.nu/66de
  Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (715)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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  (630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (642)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again

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  (610): Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again http://tfl.nu/400n
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (398)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea

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  (402): I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea http://tfl.nu/68eq
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (390)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar

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  (727): One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar http://tfl.nu/bkjj
  Replies (3) Good night (597) Bad night (365)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.

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  (801): It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me. http://tfl.nu/8eze
  Replies (0) Good night (430) Bad night (176)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.

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  (402): I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down. http://tfl.nu/5dy9
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (146)

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