Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.

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  (213): I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg. http://tfl.nu/mbc8
  Replies (1) Good night (2260) Bad night (1135)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

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  (651): All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!" http://tfl.nu/l7i0
  Replies (6) Good night (5789) Bad night (1211)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.

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  (978): If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises. http://tfl.nu/xzxa
  Replies (8) Good night (4066) Bad night (1411)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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  (519): Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous http://tfl.nu/zfcd
  Replies (10) Good night (4941) Bad night (914)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.

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  (608): Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night. http://tfl.nu/vd8i
  Replies (4) Good night (2527) Bad night (1147)
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  (818): View more from California

  Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself

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  (818): Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself http://tfl.nu/kb63
  Replies (8) Good night (2690) Bad night (608)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine

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  (503): Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine http://tfl.nu/w37w
  Replies (6) Good night (2192) Bad night (782)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night

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  (210): If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night http://tfl.nu/5uhb
  Replies (4) Good night (2119) Bad night (577)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.

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  (570): She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/lhd6
  Replies (0) Good night (1237) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.

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  (817): I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night. (512): Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there. http://tfl.nu/r01e
  Replies (4) Good night (1989) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.

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  (415): Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me. http://tfl.nu/brt4
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.

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  (757): Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers. http://tfl.nu/o7tu
  Replies (3) Good night (381) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool

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  (425): When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool http://tfl.nu/u20j
  Replies (6) Good night (646) Bad night (229)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?

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  (401): Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off? http://tfl.nu/34te
  Replies (6) Good night (302) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all

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  (864): Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all http://tfl.nu/tzw9
  Replies (16) Good night (298) Bad night (960)

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