Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.

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  (630): my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise. http://tfl.nu/s84e
  Replies (7) Good night (6763) Bad night (686)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.

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  (240): stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing. http://tfl.nu/y30j
  Replies (20) Good night (8968) Bad night (1184)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.

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  (972): Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive. http://tfl.nu/x0bv
  Replies (3) Good night (3721) Bad night (837)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010

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  (304): Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010 http://tfl.nu/5ejl
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (2356)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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  (973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q
  Replies (6) Good night (4243) Bad night (1235)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?

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  (563): I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one? http://tfl.nu/bi5f
  Replies (11) Good night (1379) Bad night (882)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.

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  (732): Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore. http://tfl.nu/0dve
  Replies (25) Good night (1462) Bad night (3101)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.

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  (480): Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes. http://tfl.nu/0e2s
  Replies (11) Good night (2316) Bad night (807)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I THINK I SHARTED

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  (910): HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!! (910): I THINK I SHARTED http://tfl.nu/jtux
  Replies (9) Good night (702) Bad night (1410)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?

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  (914): I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com? http://tfl.nu/sqoo
  Replies (4) Good night (1293) Bad night (563)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.

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  (307): Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS. http://tfl.nu/6kx3
  Replies (8) Good night (1543) Bad night (513)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.

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  (856): She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group. http://tfl.nu/inny
  Replies (11) Good night (507) Bad night (748)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED

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  (903): I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED http://tfl.nu/wpbt
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (305)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus

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  (203): I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus http://tfl.nu/joo2
  Replies (12) Good night (655) Bad night (365)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.

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  (409): They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out. http://tfl.nu/2wtd
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (209)

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