toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to