I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just had sex on a roof