Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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