Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You need a sexual gate keeper
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
