would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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