I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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