drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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