Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
