shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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