I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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