your thong is hanging out like whoa
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
