4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
nut hugger
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
