I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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