you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize