Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
