i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize