I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
