you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
