I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
