hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
