I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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