i love accidental penises.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
