That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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