ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
