none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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