just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
