Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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