Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize