Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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