That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize