ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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