I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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