theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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