i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
