Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
