My hand turned me down
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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