i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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