there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
