That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
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I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
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So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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