Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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