the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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