Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Do vagina's smell?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
