We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
smell my finger.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
