What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
