And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
