can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
