it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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