If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
