Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Randomize
