But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
operation harelip BJ is a go
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
