Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
