Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
