My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i think my cat just said my name.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
