You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
