Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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